You know you're back in Egypt when....

As soon as you exit the baggage claim there are about 2,000 men begging you to take their taxi. They jump in your face and show you pictures of their cousin's hotel and claim that they have the best taxi in all of Egypt. The guys walked ahead of me and it was like the Red Sea closing after them. None of these touts went after them, but came full force on me. I was dodging them left and right. I actually had to stop and fake a guy out, turn and run around him like a football play. Next I had to duck under a guy's arm who was shoving a picture of something in my face. Maybe the pyramids? Saying "no thank you" , or "I live here", doesn't seem to do much for these guys. I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed IMSHEEE!! at the top of my voice. This basically means "f off" in arabic. They all jump back 2 feet with their arms up as if they've kicked a ball out of bounds and are not claiming it as their fault. Owen turns around and comes after me, grabbing my arm and pulling me through this madness. Apologizing profusely for leaving me. I left the men standing around mumbling stuff about imshee? They were pretty shocked that I knew that word and that I screamed it. On the ride home, we passed by a lady walking on the street wearing a black burka. Not unusual. However, on this burka was a large picture of a horse and in big gold letters "Arab Hores" on the back of the burka. I wish we had a camera ready, but we all had a good chuckle. As I came home, a guy came around with the gas bill. 30 cents for the month. No joke. Oh, Egypt. How I love/hate you!

gotta get my nails did

I went with Elizabeth to get pedicures the other day. My usual place was packed so we went to the salon across the street from me where no one speaks English. It's a really nice salon and you can get a spa pedicure for less than $6. So Elizabeth picks out a nail polish color and the lady shakes her head and clicks her tongue. (this means NO in Arabic) The lady picks an entirely different color for her. Ok, whatever. So it's my turn to pick a color... I pick the same color that Elizabeth has on her toes. Lady shakes her head and clicks her tongue. No. No?? What?? She picks an entirely different color for me. What is this? I can't pick my own nail polish color? So bizarre. As everything in Egypt is. We laugh all the way home and always go back to my regular place that gives the BEST foot massage in the world.

a bunny story

The other day I had Bunny running around on my bed. I had my laptop on my bed which Bunny sometimes jumps on or tries to eat the cord. I left the room to get my phone and came back to a screen on my computer that said "End karat browsing now?" with Bunny sitting on top of the lap top. True story.

an Egypt story

I promised to post more funny stories, so here goes:

Some of my friends were sitting at a restaurant in Dahab. The restaurants in Dahab are all Bedoin style so you sit on the floor with pillows and stuff right on the beach. Like Thailand. So they were having dinner and these kids run up to the table next to them. Usually, whenever you leave the table, they always clear all the condiments, sugar, etc. Here is why. The table had not been cleared yet so the kids run up and grab the bottle of sugar and start chugging it! They are pouring the sugar in their mouths straight from the bottle! The waiter comes out and starts chasing them down the beach. They said it was one of the funniest things that has happened to them in Egypt. Only in Egypt.

the guy who follows you home

Two of my friends were walking home one day from dinner. Wait, let me preface this story. Sexual harrassment can be a major headache in Cairo. Egyptian men for whatever reason like to harrass Western women aka Whiteys. For example, getting your ass grabbed by a random man on the street is not unusual. Last year I had a cop grab my boob at a soccer game which ended with Owen punching him in the face. Another story for another day. About 2 weeks ago, one of my girl friends ordered food (very typical) and the delivery guy asked to use the restroom. She said yes knowing that there aren't public restrooms in Egypt. He comes out of the bathroom, looks at her and says "You are beautiful. I want to f*ck you." Yes, that happened. And that doesn't surprise me. So let's begin the story.....
Two of my friends are walking home from dinner at night in the dark down a Cairo street. This guy on a bike starts following them and saying something that sounds like "fuuu". They keep walking faster and start complaining in English how annoying and gross Egyptian men are. This guy keeps up next to them. One friend turns and yells (in English) "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" They keep walking. He continues to follow and begins to reach for them. They turn and one yells at him "F*CK YOU!! GET AWAY FROM US NOW!! WE WILL CALL THE COPS!!" Hoping this will cause a scene and deter him from approaching any further. They run down the street. He is still after them. They run into a jewelry store. Suddenly, one friend says...."I think I left my takeaway box at the restaurant." Yes, that was a waiter from the restaurant who followed them home for 15 minutes trying to return their takeaway box to them. They both feel ridiculously embarrassed. Later they call the restaurant to explain. The restaurant sends that same guy to deliver the food. At this point he is terrified to even come near the door of the flat. Things aren't always what they seem.

The Sheep Story

I used to think that only funny/embarrassing things happened to me. Turns out I was wrong. I want to write more funny stories on here because there's pretty much a funny story each week. I will begin with a story that happened last November during the Eid break. This story is completely true as far as I know. Nothing has been added just for the humor. Let me start and explain what this Eid was all about. It's the Eid-Al-Adha which is known as the Festival of Sacrifice. This means that everyone slits the necks of goats and other animals freely on the streets for days at a time. Luckily, I've been out of town during this both years. Hamdullah! (Praise be to God) But we did see a cow tied up outside a home in Luxor and then later we saw the blood covering the same house. They (Those A-rabs) really like to sacrifice their animals on top of their belongings such as cars and homes for good luck or whatever. Well, this is where the story starts..... There is a man named Dan. Let's just call him Dan to save his reputation. Dan is at home in Cairo during the Eid. He looks outside his apartment and sees below a few sheep tied to the building. After a few drinks, he decides that he is going to "rescue" one of these sheep. He goes downstairs and unties a sheep leading him up to his apartment. Not sure what happens next, but the sheep freaks out, comes untied, runs through his apartment, out the balcony doors, and plunges off the balcony to his death. Yes, the sheep is dead. Dan is freaking out. So he calls....one of our principals. Yes, his boss. He tells her what he has done and asks for advice. She tells him to talk to the boyab ('keeper of the building'- basically the security guard). The boyab is furious at what he has done and demands that he pays for a new sheep. Sure enough, a new sheep arrives in the back of a taxi cab. Taxis are not big here at all. The thought of a sheep in the back of a taxi is pretty funny. But that's not where the story ends....Owen has a connection to this story. When we were on our Nile Cruise he received a text from someone that said "There's a sheep in my backyard. What should I do?" And Owen thinking this was Tao texting him who is from New Zealand writes back "Shouldn't you know what to do with sheep. Just do what your people do with sheep." This is a dirty reference to Kiwis and the infamous reputation they have with their sheep. So the question is...did Owen encourage Dan to bring the sheep upstairs? I hope so because this story made me laugh aloud for a long time.

Resolutions...updated.

1. I lost a kilo last week!
2. Maybe....we'll see. Lacking motivation.
3. I've been cleaner now. However, I still leave a big mess for Hanan.
4. Yeah, not so much.
5. Going to India next weekend, Lebanon in Feb, and bought tickets to Spain for Spring Break...
6. Yes! I've only eaten out like 3 times last week.
7. Learned how to cook pizza.
8. I'm doing it.
9. Haven't even picked the guitar up.
10. I made a new friend! And I LOVE love love my friends here. It will be hard to leave in June...

New Year's Resolutions (because I have to)

1. Lose weight. Get in shape.
2. Run another marathon. Prague in May?
3. Try to keep things cleaner and not just wait for the maid to do it.
4. Learn and use more Arabic than just 'saba el khair, henna, shokran masalama' to the delivery guy.
5. Travel to at least 5 new countries. (I went to 15 countries last year so I'm sure this will be an easy goal)
6. Eat out less and cook more.
7. Learn to cook so I won't eat out as much.
8. Update the blog more. (done.)
9. Learn to play guitar.
10. Make new friends (and keep the old!)

Ooops!!

So I started to boil some eggs. Then my roommate came home. We ended up talking for awhile. Then some friends randomly came over. We talked for awhile. Everyone left. I heard a weird popping sound. Totally forgot about the eggs! Run to the kitchen and find that the eggs are boiled and cracked up. No water left in the pot. Ooops!

Has it really been that long???

Has it really been since October that I've written on this? Wow, time flies! Since then, I've been on a Nile Cruise, Malaysia, Singapore, and now Thailand. Sooo New Year's Resolution will be to update the blog at least once a week..... or maybe just have a trip because that's all you really care about, right? :) I didn't bring my laptop on this trip like a dummy so I haven't put the pics up yet because of that. Thailand is pretty much effing amazing. Everyone I know who has ever come to visit has always said that, but it's totally true. Believe everything you hear. We started our 3 week vacay in Kuala Lumpor, Malayasia. I've heard that it's a big, crowded, dirty city. Not true coming from Cairo. Everything was orderly and clean. China Town was really nice. Very tame compared to the Khan-alKahlil in Cairo. Not much to see there, so we flew to Singapore for a few job interviews. Looks like that's where I'll be in August 2010! Not sure yet which school, we're waiting on a school to run background checks and stuff before they can offer the contract! Hope it all works out! Absolutely loved Singapore! We hung out with a few of Owen's friends there. Had a little BBQ and social gatherings at the pool.... felt like anywhere in North America. Then flew over to a remote island off of Phuket. I have no idea what island it is and I couldn't find it on the map. We took a night boat in total darkness and landed on the beach. The locals came over and carried all of our stuff to the cabins. These pics are pretty amazing. We stayed basically in this jungle. Good thing the food was really good, because there was only 1 restaurant on the whole island. We met a really lovely Irish couple, Jane and Allen, and ended up having dinner and drinks with them each night. We had a great Christmas with them. After 5 days there, we took a boat, bus, and ferry over to Koh Phangan to meet up with 3 friends. We were only going to stay here for 5 days and then check out another island, but we like it so much we're gonna stay the entire time. The beaches are beautiful white sand beaches, the food is incredible, the people very friendly and the massages so cheap! We were here for the infamous Full Moon Party on Haad Rin Beach. It's bascially like Mardi Gras once a month....but it was also New Year's Eve so there were something like 20,000 people at this beach party. It was surprising how tame it was considering the large amount of people. The tide is very far out so that's what makes the beach so roomy and the moon is so bright you can see everything so well. Loved it. We were definitely some of the older people at the beach, but it was still so much fun. I don't have pics of this because I was told to leave my camera at home. Really wish I had pics, but I'm sure if you google full moon party and koh phangan then you'll get some great pics of what it was like. There were lots of fire performers, fireworks, and these things that you set on fire and they float away in the air. They looked like lanterns. It's supposed to represent all the bad things from the year before are burning away. We even saw a ladyboy which I was very excited about! A drunk guy with a santa hat was making out with the ladyboy totally unaware that was a not a cute Thai girl. We all had a good laugh at his expense. Most days are the same- sleep in, breakfast, watch Animal Planet or CNN, beach, reading, nap at the pool, thai massage, shopping or lunch in town or on the beach (we have scooters!), a beer or 2, maybe another nap, sunset and cocktails, dinner out on the beach, cards or games on the balcony. Tough life. It's hard to imagine it being cold everywhere else in the world. Hope everyone had a great Christmas and Happy New Year's!

You know you're in Egypt when....

....you're shopping at the grocery store and the power goes completely out....you're standing in total darkness and without hesitation you get out your phone that has a flashlight and continue shopping....

best.birthday.ever

As long as I live in Egypt, I will never have to work on my birthday. Lucky me, it's a national holiday. Since we had the 6th off in the middle of the week we celebrated the night before. Went to the most amazing restaraunt in Cairo with 14 of my closest friends. That sounds like a lot of people, but it was actually really hard to narrow it down to 14 which I had to do because the place is so small. Had the best meal I've had in Cairo so far. Gourmet sea bass and good imported wine. Later we went back to the Harps' rooftop balcony and partied the night away. Teaching everyone how to line dance to hip hop music was my goal for the night. Good times had by all. The next day, Owen bought me a massage and pedicure at a spa and we went to dinner at the Fish Market on the Nile. Also, really good food. Here are some presents I got: Obviously this was from John. Before I opened it, he described it as "What every woman wants".

more flowers!



Yes, I got a bunny! When we were in Turkey a few weeks ago, they had baby bunnies and I just went nuts for them. So Owen decided to totally surprise me and get me a bunny. It's really cute and sooo soft! We just call it Bunny or Bun-Bun (steph's nickname for it) and not sure if it's a girl or boy. It also makes me laugh a lot. Today I put a new hanging water bottle in its cage and it freaked out not knowing that the bottle was and started boxing it. I almost peed my pants laughing so hard. Apparently you can train bunnies to use a litter box like a cat, which is weird but kinda cool. We'll see....the adventures of bunny will continue....

Come on, Egypt, pull yourself together!

The Egyptian government has come up with a few good ideas. Wait, no, that's not right. Egypt has never in its life come up with a good idea. Here are their latest ideas for preventing swine flu:

1. No AC in the classroom.
2. Open the windows in the classroom.
3. No AC on the buses.
4. If a child sneezes, they are sent home.
5. 8 Day Quarantine period for anyone leaving the country.

Dear Egypt,
Are you aware that we live in the middle of the desert? Do you realize how much sand will be in my classroom at the end of each day if I keep a window open? I would like you to teach all day in a classroom without AC and tell me how you like it. Why do you want me to stay in the country and not travel? I'm more likely to get the flu from Egypt than anywhere else where I want to go.
hate you,
mel

In other news, we posted our resume online and had an offer from a school within an hour. Shouldn't be too hard getting a new job for next year. Oh, and I have a SMART board in my classroom! Also, girls night on a felucca with wine, snacks, and a good book. Very relaxing after a crazy day. I love my friends here if nothing else. :)

In America, we speak American.

So many words to describe Nascar. Sometimes pictures are just better. It was definitely a life-changing event. Owen was quite excited to see a real Confederate flag and a racist. An easy order. The night started off at Wendy's, just as it should. We were having some issues with our order. The workers were very confused on how to make fries and actually asked me which cup was a small. As if I knew? But the best part was when the girl was about to fill up our last drink and stopped to send a text. Hilarious. We were laughing so hard because we couldn't believe she had the nerve to text at that moment. The redneck next to me, turned and made a comment about "them colored folks" and I was quickly mortified. But this must be part of the experience. Rednecks, racisism, and fast cars. The opening of the race started with some patriotic songs and a skydiver came down with a massive American flag. Sometimes the patriotism of America is ridiculous. We didn't stay the entire race because the actual race is very boring and too loud to talk to anyone. Also, we were going to the Ravens/Chiefs game the next day in Balitmore. (Thank you, Brad Cottam.) If you ever get the opportunity to go to a Nascar race, you should definitely go. It is everything you think it will be. And more. You will not be disappointed.
After Wendy's, we walked about a mile to the race track because there was no parking.

This is when I spotted the car with the Taco Bell sticker. At this moment, I was finally interested in the actual race.

I will never forget this woman. She fell over the bench head first and later had to be carried out by 4 men. Two of the men had a hand on the back of the jeans, carrying her like someone who is hog-tied. She represented Nascar well.

Life in Cairo

When I talk about living in Cairo with people, everyone seems to think that my life is crazy, unpredictable, and exciting. I realized tonight that it's really not that way. For example, today I walked to Gold's gym and watched CSI on my tv on the elliptical machine. Then went over for to my friend's house for dinner with 6 friends. He had his cook make us Indian food. (ok, when we talk about our cooks and maids, that does sound a little crazy.) Then we hung out awhile on the roof and later watched Hell's Kitchen. Last night we went to a pub and watched NFL games with a big group while enjoying pizza and beer. The night before that, 8 of us ordered pad thai and chilled out on the rooftop patio. It's what I might be doing in the States on any weekday night. Pretty much normal stuff. Except for the Call to Prayer blasting from every mosque in town at the exact same time.

USA. Fall. Sports.

Best time to be in the US has got to be the fall due to the sports season. School has now been postponed until October 3rd with rumors it will be postponed later. The HS teachers have been told to post assignments on the website. We are headed back to Cairo tomorrow and then we will wait for a few days and then decide where to go. We have to be in Egypt 8 days before school starts. So that will definitely be the time we spend in Dahab. So we still have 2 1/2 weeks before school starts. There's also a rumor that we won't have to make up any of the time. If we do have to make it up, we will just go 30 minutes later each day rather than make up the days at the end of the year. Not too shabby. Also, we experienced our first NASCAR and survived.

America. #1.

If you had told me 2 weeks ago that I would be sitting in my parents' house in Virginia Beach, I would not have believed you. We arrive in Cairo on August 25th and within 2 hours, there are rumors flying that we might not have school for another month. Sure enough, 2 days later our director made the announcement, "No school until September 26th". Yes, that is a Saturday and 26 days later than it was supposed to start. The Egyptian government has decided that Swine Flu will be spread from the International teachers and all International schools must be shut down. We found some cheap ($714-roundtrip) tickets to NYC so decided to hit up the good ole USA. College football, MLB, NFL, and Nascar- everything you miss from the states! Even better Suzanne and Cam are here since they quit their jobs. The good news= no school for the next month. The bad news= we just found out that we have to be back the 18th for an 8 day quarantine so we had to change our tickets and paid $$$. The way they are planning to make up the time lost is to just add 30 minutes onto the school day. Not too bad when you get 17 prep times a week. (45 minutes = 1 prep time) So we'll go back 8 days early and then head off to the beach...my favorite place ever. DAHAB!! However, we've heard from some friends in Egypt that everything is going crazy. There's even rumors about the school having to shut down for the entire year. Not too worried about that because we have contracts that allow us to still get paid and we aren't allowed to work anywhere else. In that case, we've decide to go live in Thailand for the remainder of the year. But, we'll see what happens. You just have to live each day as it comes. Besides, it's not so bad. I'm sitting here watching The Office marathon on TBS in my PJs on the plasma tv and eating cookie dough while Owen went for a run with Jackie. We just bought our Nascar, NFL, and MLB tickets online for next weekend. Even though it's unexpected, life is pretty good.

Just another day in Eastern Europe...

It's so annoying when you go to sign in to your blog and everything is written in Serbian, ya know? So here I am in Belgrade, Serbia. Certainly didn't expect to be here. We were planning on avoiding Belgrade only because the best it had to offer was the "night life". No, thanks. But because of the bus/train system from Kosovo we couldn't get to Bosnia. Yes, I said Kosovo. I was in Kosovo for 3 days, no big deal. Youngest country in the world. Kosovo has been the only country I've been to the past year that actually likes America. So don't let anyone tell you that America is an evil empire who goes around attacking random countries....er, wait....the USA bombed the crap out of Serbia a few years ago. Well, that was a good thing for Kosovo and they gained their independence from Serbia. Anyways, we had a slight issue getting into Kosovo because Serbia doesn't recognize Kosovo's independence. On the way to Kosovo we were crammed into a van full of Macedonians (Macedonians, I mean what the hell?) who didn't need to get a Kosovo stamp so we didn't get ours. In the middle of the journey, a song came on the radio and the entire van started singing. Visualize a scene from Fiddler on the Roof and that's about what it was like. The Matchmaker was sitting in front of me. No joke. Eastern Europeans kinda all look the same. They all seem to have misshapen heads and large noses. They just look weird. Not trying to be mean, just accurate. The languages are very rough like Russian so it's kinda scary when they talk to you. But like Arabic you get soon realize that they aren't yelling at you because they are angry, they are yelling because they seem to have voice immodulation. I've taken about 700 pictures and we've been to Hungary, Croatia, Kosovo, Serbia, and Montenegro. But I haven't put any pictures on the computer yet so I'll have to work on that. Croatia was by far the best. We spent about 12 days exploring the islands and just relaxing by the beaches. I'll have to write more about that in a separate post. Right now I need to find some coffee.

Oh yeah, North Carolina....

Totally forgot to update about that. I flew down to see Elizabeth in Charlotte. It was definitely a girl's week! Mostly we just sat by the Country Club pool and drank sweet tea. She introduced me to a little Southern secret know as Firefly....ummm YUM! I didn't have my camera to take pics so I'm just posting a random pic of me and elizabeth from last school year.... When we were out one night there was a group from Carolinanightlife.com who were taking pics. We saw our pics on the website the next day, but when I went back I couldn't find them. Oh well. Lesson learned- take your camera everywhere.

Oh, Canada!

So Canada is pretty much amazing. I don't know why more people don't live there. I arrived in Calgary and O and I went to a wedding and the Calgary Stampede (their rodeo). Apparently, two-stepping in Canada is not the same as Texas. Owen was unteachable, but Shane was willing to learn. The people I met made me want to move there immediately. They were all sooo nice and fun! Then we drove to Invermere which is in BC. BEAUTIFUL! This is the view from Owen's mom's front door. No joke. After a few days there we flew in Owen's dad's little tiny plane to Canim Lake where his dad has 2 secluded cabins. I think it takes around 9 hours or so to drive there and flying it's about 2 hours. So we literally flew over the Rockies. It was pretty scary at first. There's a runway on the property so we landed right next to the cabins. Pretty rad. We stayed there for about 3 days. Fishing, campfire, crossword puzzles, and a lot of just chillin'. This is the view from the plane.

Then we flew back to Invermere and drove to Premiere Lake about an hour away. This place was unbelievable. Owen's mom (or mum as he says) has about 7 cabins. They pretty much have their own campsite. The only way to get to it is by boat. We stayed here for about 3 days. Swimming, fishing, playing horseshoes, bocce, etc. SO much fun!
View from the dock at the main cabin.

The stream that runs in the middle of the camp ground. Unbelievably clean water.

We went back to Invermere for a fun golf tournament with about 30 of his friends. Then went to Banff, Lake Louise and everywhere in between to do some hiking. Weather was unbeatable. I can't wait to go back!!

Lake Louise.