Dear Dr. Paul,
I feel the need to bring an important issue to your attention. There seems to be an unfortunate epidemic of narcelepsy amoung the blue workers at our school. Even with hourly doses of coffee the workers are unable to stay awake. A possible solution: falefels laced with Ritalin? Just a suggestion that I think you should seriously consider.
Thank you for your attention to this pressing issue,
Me
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