Hangin' in da 'ham

Last week I received an email with this attachment:

Birmingham Itinerary
July 26-29

Friday
Arrive in the ‘ham
Eat dinner at 601 Wildforest Dr.
Piano recital

Saturday
Breakfast
-Original Pancake House
-Cracker Barrel
Take Mom to airport
Birmingham Botanical Gardens
Lunch at Cobb Lane
Harry Potter Day at Birmingham Zoo
Run on Lakeshore
Rent movie

Sunday
Church at Brook Hills
Brunch at Whole Foods
Kung Fu Panda
Olive Garden



So this is what we did this weekend. Except we didn't go to Cobb Lane due to an excessive amount of wine and chocolate cake. And we didn't go see Kung Fu Panda. :( The piano recital consisted of Reba playing a few selections from Pride and Prejudice and demanding our applause after each one. Harry Potter day at the zoo was cancelled due to rain. But we did enjoy a free day at the petting zoo due to lack of personnel at the front ticket booth. We had an addition of a trip to see Volcan. How can you resist a half naked statue of a Greek god? Obviously, we were very mature about it.

(Yes, that is Volcan's naked butt)

Feliz Navigon!

"No, I haven't talked to her about it yet. Yes, I know that we don't have much time. Look, I'll talk to her about it when we stop for dinner. Yes, I know how important this is. Yes, I agree that this is important. I will tell her ok? Don't worry."

This is the conversation that I hear from my mom when my dad called as we are driving to B'ham. Whaaat? Who died? What is going on??? We remain in silence in the car. I can tell that mom doesn't want to talk about it. So we stop at Subway. Silence. This is bizarre. Especially for my mom. And I'm totally freaked out. But then I realize something. My mom avoids ALL conversations unless they are about puppies and rainbows. So I wasn't too worried. We walk back to the car and she mumbles that she has to get something from the trunk. She was taking awhile to get whatever she needed. I walk back to the trunk and I see it.....a GPS system!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I HATE THESE THINGS!!!! They are SOO obnoxious. I refuse to use it. We fight. She hooks it up and we go down the road and Navigon is obnoxious. She can't pronouce her words correctly. We could not figure out "right at the roundabout" because it sounded like "rightahwoebtoincboo". I like to refer her to as Navi. Navi is a hater. When you speed she screams "caution! caution!". Horribleness. She doesn't answer any of your questions. Like, "Navi, where are we?" I have to have her all day on Monday when I drive to VA Beach. But I found out how to mute Navi.

Feliz Navigon!

99 boxes of beer on the truck...

99 boxes. That's what the movers counted. I have too much stuff. It's official. Most of the boxes were from the liquor store (because those boxes are free). Turns out the head mover guy (not sure on his title) is from Israel and his wife's family lives in Egypt and her 2 kids go to my school! Small world!!

Disclaimer

I just checked my checking account. Some of you with upcoming bdays (Reba, Kim, Sudan-belated), you might be receiving some lightly used articles of clothing or maybe a very rarely used vacuum cleaner.

No, Burka, no!

Today I was shopping at Bed Bath and Beyond minding my own business, when I turned the corner and was scared out of my wits. There was a lady in a burka walking with her sons. It was like seeing Darth Vader for the first time. I couldn't move, couldn't scream, couldn't breath. After a moment of feeling paralzyed, I ran in the opposite direction. This was very traumatic for me. What am I going to do when I see them all the time in Egypt??? These things are seriously scary.

Oh, and Emily mentioned that she saw one at Sephora. Makeup?? What for?? Please explain!

Also, do little babies wear burkas? If so, that might be kinda cute.

Hair.Is.CUT.OFF

I'll put a pic up later. I'm at Panera Bread so I don't want to scare the families around me by taking a picture of myself. What am I doing at Panera Bread? If you are asking this question you have not had their breakfast sandwiches and mocha. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

Car is fixed. Hair is short. I like it. alot. I have 30 pages left in my journal and 30 days until I leave for Egypt. Weird. I have had this journal since May 2006. It's a large journal, but I guess I don't journal that much. Blogging has taken over my journal time. Except for the secret stuff and that goes in the locked Hello Kitty journal. Don't hate.

Famous last words

After working out at the gym and making a list of all the things I have to do today, I thought "Geez Louise, all I wanna do is stay in bed and watch movies. I really don't feel like driving all over town." So I go out to the car to begin the plethora of errands. And my car won't start. God, are you trying to be ironic? Called the Roadside Assistance and they tried to jump start my car. No luck. Now I'm waiting on the tow truck to drag my car to the dealer. Of course, the dealer said that they can't get to my car until Monday. No loaner car. Haters.

I guess I got what I wanted. I'm watching Chicago and packing the kitchen. Not going to be running any errands for the next few days.

For Sale

good things

Emily has graciously agreed to administer my B12 shots to me. Yes, they are butt shots. Awesome. At times like this, I'm so glad that she is part Lebanese. And I'm really glad that she is not sick at all of the Lebanese joke.

Suzanne was in a boating accident today. Sliced her head open. 7 stitches. But not eaten by sharks. So this is good news. I'm sure she's enjoying her pain pills right now. Seriously, I'm very glad you are ok, SuzieQ.

I enjoyed a day at the museum (It was kinda weird not having kids or not being an Asian wearing a track suit on vacation.) And lunch at Cafe Brasil. Me gusta!!


I made so many phone calls that my phone died twice. But I did absolutely no packing. Good times.

You can have it your way, but don't get crazy.

If you haven't seen the nail salon video, then you HAVE to watch it. Then you can appreciate this. And if you love Mexican jokes then watch this. This chick cracks me up!

an apple a day....

I've been to 6 different doctors in the past week. And spent $$$ just on routine visits. Everything was normal except for my cholesterol (202). Which my doctor suggested might be due to Taco Bell. She is such a liar. I love how I went to see the dermo. for a skin cancer screening and she suggests acne medicine. Didn't even know I had an acne problem. And she was the 7th dermo to tell me "You will get skin cancer, it's just a matter of time. Let's talk about sunscreen and long sleeves." Let's not. My dentist looked at my teeth and said, "Everything looks great. Just keep doing what you're doing." Really?? Like eating lots of sweets and never flossing? Might want to think about that before you say something crazy. It's just good genes, not my maintenance.

Tomorrow I will brave the 3rd Ward to get some immunizations. It's the cheapest place in town and I'll still be spending over $300 for the shots. Doctors are obnoxiously expensive.

"If you can survive the 3rd Ward, then you can survive Cairo." --my mom

What is wrong with me:

Actually that list is too long...but after stalking my GI doctor, he finally gave me the test results. I have Pernicious anemia (also known as Biermer's anaemia or Addison's anaemia or Addison-Biermer anaemia). This is most likely caused by Atrophic gastritis. The solution: Every few years get a biopsy by swallowing a camera and tools to cut peices of my stomach out to check for cancer. Sounds like good times. And get monthly B-12 shots. No me gusta. I was really hoping that he would tell me that the only solution was more Taco Bell.

May all your dreams not come true

3 days ago I had a nightmare that Emily and I were in Egypt and they said that we couldn't live together. The reason: We resembled the CIA and it was too suspicious for us to be roommates. Yeah, I don't know but it was scary.

The next night I had a nightmare that the movers showed up at my place and told me that none of my stuff could fit in the truck. So everything I want to take with me must fit in my car. I argued with the movers for the majority of the dream that I could not fit my mattress in my car. They said that I could. Very frustrating.

Adventures in ColonLand

Ok, it's actually my small intestines. I went to the gastro dr on Monday. By the way, he was a total a-hole (pardon the pun). I'll have my results on the Celiac blood test next week, but he wanted me to get small bowel and UGI tests done today. This took several hours. First I had to drink the Barium mixture which is basically chalk mixed with water. With the first sip, it tastes like a thicker form of Mylanta. Not that bad. But by the 3rd cup I knew I was going to have nightmares about this stuff. One of the docs mentioned that they put chocolate syrup in it at the Children's hospital. So NOT fair!! Apparently, it takes about 20-30 minutes to drink this. I downed it in less than 5 minutes. When they took the first xray they were all really shocked that my stomach was stretched so big! They(my entire team of radiologists) couldn't believe that I wasn't in an incredible amount of pain from how huge my stomach had stretched. I told them that I was pretty used to stretching my stomach(refer to what I did for July 4th). Anyways, you have to walk around and take more xrays every 20 minutes for over 2 hours. It was really boring, but all the radiologists and xray technicians were really nice and I know all of their life stories. Now I will be spending the rest of the day in the restroom thanks to the Barium.

From Japan, with love

This arrived at my house from Japan!! I miss this family so much!! They moved to Japan in March. I can't wait to go visit someday!

Oh yeah, let me translate:

"Dear Ms. McGoldrick,

At the Japan I am in the 3rd grade. I have lots of friend. I think happy that you are my teacher. I think Daily Elementary School is very good school.

Ryotaro"

"Ms McGoldrick,

How are you? Ryotaro wrote a letter to you at his new school. He is adjusting well so far. We received the class picture from Satsuki's mom. We all still miss Houston very much! Hope everything is well for you!

Best regards, Akiko"

How I Celebrated the 4th

CVS Round 2

I went in to CVS this morning to get a dr. pepper and Mr. Super Duper* was behind the counter. Oh no, I am not going to buy anything buy my dr. pepper.

Let me set the scene for you. I'm wearing a tank top and shorts, soaking wet hair(did not even attempt to dry my hair- i was so late, no makeup. The entire time I just stared at the ground.

Mr. super duper: You look really pretty today.
me: It's the last day of summer school. (what? I don't know)
Mr. Super duper: Oh, well you can still look pretty on the last day of summer school.
me: okay
Mr super duper: Your total with your coupon is 44 cents.
me: can I charge that?
Mr. Super duper: It's okay. Have a great last day of summer school!


*Refer to previous post (he's the cute CVS manager)

I love the rain the most when it stops.

And now I like being a teacher. Last day of summer school!!! Wooohoo!! I have some meetings tomorrow and will be cleaning out my classroom. But that's it. No mas. Praise the Lord!

How to "slow your roll"

Don't worry, I am investigating this lovely new product. I love America.

To cut or not to cut?

What should I do with my hair??? Here are some options....

I'm also open to suggestions.