The Opposite of True Love A.K.A. What a Girl Wants

ex b.f.: "Have you decided to unshun me?"
me: "unshun. maybe. why? reshun."
ex b.f.: "I miss you! I want to hang out with you! I bought tickets to see your favorite play!"
me: "unshun. ok, but just this once. reshun."

So I once believed that, as women, we should be pursued. We should wait patiently for our knight on a white horse and a big sword to come and save us from our boring, monotonous lives. After being wined and dined by the ol' ex, I've decided that I don't like this tactic. I don't want to be pursued and treated like a princess. Screw that. It's all just facade. Everyone looks like a better person when they are in a "date" scenario. For like 1/2 a second, I thought to myself....he's not so bad......he's actually really sweet....wow, he's paying for everything- how nice.....why did we break up?..... maybe we should get back together.... and then NO! WRONG!! BAD IDEA!! MUST LEAVE DATE NOW!!! Going on dates at really nice restaurants and theaters will only make you believe you are in a cheesy movie. That is the opposite of true love. It's not real. If you really want to get to know a guy, have him move your furniture or clean up a dead cat that you accidentally electrocuted. That's what true love looks like. A dead cat.