Dear doctors,

Please tell me what NOT to check off when you give me that pink paper that asks about all my problems. If you are going to stare at me like I'm crazy and tell me to see my "regular" doctor because I checked the box "see flashing lights", then I won't check that box! I'm just being honest! I see lights. And they're flashing. But I won't tell you about it if you're gonna make a big deal out of it.

And when the nurse tells me that my insurance company wants everyone to get a HIV test once a year, and I say OK. Then don't give me a lecture about possibly having HIV. (By the way, that test was negative--good to know) I didn't think I had HIV, I was just doing what the nurse and my insurance told me to do!

love,
your favorite hypochondriac

p.s. My nickname at work is "the druglord" so please keep those prescriptions flowing....

Disclaimer: Ok, so my nickname is actually based upon the fact that I have more OTC drugs in my purse than the school nurse and more advocare vitamins than I know what to do with.