"The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. "

Problem: Checking account balance is -483.01 (Yes, negative)

Solution: Scream. Cry. "How did this happen?" Buy concert tickets.

Problem: Get credit card bill in the mail. Balance is too high to publicly display.

Solution: Go get mani/pedi at the spa.

Easter Fun

Knocked Up

My friend Christy is preggars!!!! I'm so excited for her and Chris! It's so weird that we can make babies. I'm not sure if I want babies popping out of me, that is still up for debate. But CC makes pregancy look easy!

p.s. this picture was taken long before her pregancy. please ignore the adult beverages in the background.

"I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God's help I shall succeed." --Van Gogh

There were a few Van Gogh imitators at the Art Festival last weekend, but my favorite pieces were the ones where I thought "What is that? no, really.....what.... oh, ok. Cool."

Meghan, Heather and I had to indulge in some Marble Slab ice cream which was heaven. Not quite as exciting as the chocolate-dipped-cheesecake-on-a-stick. Hands down, greatest invention in the world.

"32 reasons why I hate my teacher"

I just picked up a stellar piece of writing from one of my famous students entitled “32 thing I hate teachers”. I can't decide on my favorite reason. It might be #4 " takes all the rulers away" or # 8 "tattletales".

No one likes a vegetarian

I have begun to consume meat again. I know you are all so proud of my decision.

Canada was awesome, eh?

I have to say that I am exhausted. It takes a long time to get to Whistler, Canada. We flew to Seattle then drove to Canada which took about 10 hours altogether. It snowed every day we were there. After the head injury on the first day, I opted for the helmet. I learned some rad snowboarding skills, even a few jumps off the snowbank(which were completely unintentional but so gnarly). I was at the site of the 2010 winter olympics, so I obviously got in the promotional bobsled and wore the gold-painted-CD that was supposed to be the gold medal at the Olympic office. I even learned about the para-olympics(I'll explain later). All in all, it was a gorgeous place and a great break from America. The best part was definitely the british and australian boys with totally hot accents. It is good to be single.

Spring Break, baby!

T minus 5 days until this picture becomes a reality.

Bring It On

Yeah, that's me in the far left leading the chanting at the end of the cheer. I wish I had a picture of the actual cheer because I'm sure it was the greatest thing you've ever seen. (I wrote it, so you know it was totally awesome.) We were certainly more pumped up about the TAKS Test than any of the students. However, they were extremely impressed by the cartwheels and roundoffs that Nicole and I did before the 4th grade cheer. Somehow my roundoff became a "roundoff-backflip-backtuck" by the end of the day via the 4th grae rumor mill. I did not confirm or deny any part of the gymnastic routine. Later I was offered a position of gymnatics coach at the new school down the street. Bring it.

6 Weird Things

Ok, so I received this:
Tag! You're it! Here are the instructions (see my blog for an example :) ):"Each person who gets tagged needs to write a blog post telling 6 weird things about them self... as well as clearly state the rules. After you state your 6 weird things, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Also, leave a comment on their blog telling them that they have been tagged."

So Em....I guess you're assuming I have 6 weird things. HA! Probably everything I do is weird and I just don't know it! Ok, here goes:

1. I had braces in college. So hot.

2. I went on my first mission trip at age 8. Yeah, I took it to the hills of Utah and I preached my heart out to those mormons. Actually, I just ate alot of Twix and helped to paint the church.

3. I was a vegetarian for 2 years. I have recently regained my sanity and also added 5 lbs to my "healthy weight". Please see reference to Twix. This began my lifelong eating disorder and my participation in Overeaters Anonymous.

4. I had a lazy eye when I was a kid and had to wear Bifocals until the age of 12. Sometimes I try to get my lazy eye to come back when I'm teaching to freak the kids out, but it doesn't work.

5. I just consumed an entire box of Girl Scout cookies and I don't feel an ounce of guilt for it. Refer to #3 if you have further questions.

6. I think the South African accent is really hot.

Ok, so I have to choose 6 people for this. I don't think I know 6 people who have blogs, but I'll try. Reba, Emily, Stephanie, Sarah, Mitzi.

Belated Vday

I was really busy last week, so I'm sorry I didn't wish everyone a happy valentine's day!! Hope yours was great!

Declaration of Independence

Student: Ms. McGoldrick, can I have a piece of paper?

Me: No. Why?

Student: To write my own declaration of independence.

Me: And who are you independent from?

Student: ummm. I haven’t figured that out yet.

Me: Well, you can’t have a declaration of independence if you aren’t claiming to be independent from someone.

Student: Ok, then adults.

Me: WRONG.

Student: Ok then teenagers. Once a teenager beat me up. I want to be independent from them.

Me: Ok, but you aren’t using my paper for that.

O Canada!!

So on Friday, we booked our Spring Break trip to Canada!! I'm so geeked!! This is where we are going to be: http://www.whistlerblackcomb.com/index.htm

I've never been to canada, so this is muy muy exciting! I'm beginning my research on the country today.....

The end of Vegetarianism???

So you might know about my B12 deficiency which you were probably unconcerned about, as I was, until my sister informed me that B12 deficiency could lead to brain damage and that I should go back to the doctor to get it checked out. My new doctor was actually intrigued by the fact that I had a B12 deficiency and I was not a heavy drinker or vegan. (By the way, I love how on the survey I had to fill out it looked like this: Amount of daily alcohol consumption:_____ Occupation:_____ Haha! I wanted to write "enormous amounts" and "beacuase I teach 10-year olds".) Anyways, after many questions she came to the conclusion that I most likely suffer from Coliac Disease. This means that in order for my body to absorb the correct vitamins and nutrients, I need to be on a strict gluten-free diet. So my protein shakes and other forms of protein are out and meat is back in. I have not been "officially" diagnosed with Coliac yet. I have to get my lab results back and then see a Gastro/Intestenianal doctor. Don't go ordering me a steak any time soon.

5:14:15

I completed my first marathon on January 14th, 2006. Thanks to everyone who came out to support me! It is the best feeling when you see friends cheering you on. Caroline, Christina, and Tara came to see me at 3 different places. So they took the time to drive to each place and stop, get out and cheer me on in the cold and rain! After running the marathon, I had alot of interesting questions from everyone. So I thought I would separate the fact from the fiction.

FACT: Running hurts. Yes, there was a point where everything inside and outside my body hurt. My spleen even hurt. And I don't even know where my spleen is. But it hurt. Miles 22-24 were the absolute worst. I wanted to quit. But I didn't. Praise God.

FACT: Beer is served at mile 24. No, really. It's true. They pass out cold beer in plastic cups instead of Gatorade and water.

FACT: People do #2 in their pants. Praise God that it wasn't me.

FACT: Marathons are more mental than physical. SO TRUE!! You could see this by just watching the race. When the one-legged man passed me, I felt pretty pathetic. But then I realized that hey, if he can do it with just one leg, surely I can do it with 2 legs! And that encouraged me to put my mind to it.

FACT: If you are going to be a bystander and want to be clever, like say, make a sign that says "you are all Kenyans", please do this during the first 13 miles. You are not really funny after mile 15. Nothing is funny after mile 20. Nothing. And the signs that say "you are going the wrong way" are never funny.

FACT: People get hurt during marathons and there is lots of blood. Mostly the men and their bloody nipples. They should know to put on bandaids.

FICTION: You feel like a different person when you are finished. I really didn't feel any different afterwards. I mean, I was sore in places I didn't know could get sore. But I was kinda expecting something to happen during the race. Like God was going to talk to me through a burning bush or something. Nope. Nothing. Then I realized that there's nothing I can do on this earth that will give me the same satisfaction as the hope I have in Christ. During our deepest struggles and toughest times in life when everything seems hopeless, that's the time we use our faith. The hardest part of the race was the time when I had to trust that God would get me through it. Faith isn't for the first mile, it's for mile 22 when everything is physically telling you to stop and quit.

January Book Review

The Path of Lonliness by Elizabeth Elliot- Not a good book to read alone in public or you'll get the "ohhh SAD!!" look from everyone around you. Best book of the year! It's about dealing with singleness and how to view it as a gift from God and not a curse. I really liked Elizabeth's opinions and scripture references. Amazing!

A Single Shard - This children's book is about a boy who lives in like 5th century korea. It starts out really slow and boring, but turns out to be like a Shawshank Redemption-- Great ending.

The View From Saturday- Children's book. It was alright. Nothing to write home about.

Prince Caspian- I love C.S. Lewis so of course I loved this book. It's part of the Narnia books and in it the kids from the wardrobe return to Narnia to find it completely different from when they left. Lots of good Christian undertones and hidden references to scripture.

Caddie Woodlawn- kids book- Sounds like it was going to be the most boring book of all time, but was great. Much better than Little House on the Prairie.

The Penderwicks- kids book-- was alright. About 4 crazy sisters who chase rabbits and boys; my sisters are much much much stranger so I thought these girls were kinda boring.

Marathons are for losers

I am "allegedly" running the Houston Marathon this weekend. Come cheer me on if you are in town! If not, go here: http://www.activeresult.com/results/MSG-signup.tcl?sub_event_id=22484 and sign up for updates.

Music has been what gets me going each day I run, but I don't think I'm gonna bring my Ipod to the race. I know, SCARY!! Here is great running playlist that I thought I would share:
Idependently Happy - Blue October
My Love - Justin Timberlake
Fergalicious- Fergie (shut it. you know you have it too)
Love like winter- AFI
Wait a Minute- Pussycat Dolls
Vindicated- Dashboard
Stolen- Dashboard
Girl- Beck
Boogie Shoes- KC and the Sunshine Band
Cold Hard B*tch- Jet
I'd do anything for love- Meatloaf
Maneater- Nelly Furtado
Here it goes again- Ok Go
Come Thy Fount, Jesus Paid it All, I Stand Amazed- (I know you're thinking, hymns?? But God is who blessed me with the ability to run. All praise goes to him.)

My students found out that I'm running the race and have asked all kinds of really funny questions. "Are you going to win?" "So if you don't win, what do you think you will place?" "You really aren't going to win?" "Why are you running if you aren't going to win?"

Here are some really great marathoning quotes:

"Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?'" - Peter Maher, Irish-Canadian Olympian and sub-2:12 marathoner

"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or gazelle - when the sun comes up, you'd better be running."

"The body does not want you to do this. As you run, it tells you to stop but the mind must be strong. You always go too far for your body. You must handle the pain with strategy...It is not age; it is not diet. It is the will to succeed." - Jacqueline Gareau, 1980 Boston Marathon champ

"Running is a lot like life. Only 10 percent of it is exciting. 90 percent of it is slog and drudge." - Dave Bedford, English distance runner who occasionally put in 200 miles a week in training

"And that is why you all belong in jail."

I'm pretty sure that's how my speech ended. Porn, drugs, and guns are running rampant in the 4th grade. But I actually wasn't even responding to any of those crimes. I'll leave that for another day. I was only addressing the cheating and lying at the time of the "jail" talk. My kids are bad. I'm mean like, stealing a teacher's cell phone bad. And they are not smart. I mean like, stealing the cell phone and taking their picture with it. And that's just the girls! I spend more time doing CSI and other detective work rather than actually teaching, and it truly is an art-form to get a child to confess. They know that I can't do anything to them unless they confess. So I just use basic interrogational strategies. My mom suggested that I just tell the kids that my dad is a preacher and that he's going to send them all the Hell. She laughed hysterically when she told me this. I learned very quickly that it's not wise to talk to her on speakerphone in Kroger. Don't worry though, my dad is not Catholic and he is also not a priest or bishop or whatever who does that sort of thing. It has been suggested that I write more about my incredible adventures in teaching. Let me warn you though, the future of America ain't lookin' so bright. Most of the time the kids behavior isn't really funny when it is actually happening. It's usually later when I go home and think about what happened and I start cracking because it's all so ridiculous.

"Is your dog mean?"

My 2 week vacation has come to an end. (tear). Let me re-cap some of the highlights. The vacation started off with a quick trip to the beach with Rebes and Jackie(the dog). I still start laughing when I think about the sound that came out of Becca as she body-slammed Jackie into the sand as Cowboy (the dog) came leaping up to say "hi" to Jackie. "Is your dog mean?" I think I stopped laughing long enough to answer the question. "YES! She's super mean!"

Suzanne graduated college! That was fun. Wait, no it wasn't. I had the joy of attending her graduation with my parents. Hanging out with my parents is equivalent to teaching Special Ed. My mom and dad decided to save seats for some friends. So they sit on polar opposites of one row and decide to yell to each other across the entire row(about 17 seats across). My dad is hard of hearing and my mom doesn't pay attention to anything. So they had a 12 minute argument about how many seats they should save. I finally had to communicate to both of them that we only needed 5 seats saved. Once the ceremony started, my mom quickly started her Sudoku and my dad fell fast asleep.

Our trip to Jamestown was not only educational, but also...... umm no, actually it was just educational. Pocahontas did not enjoy the photo shoot nearly as much as Becca and I did. We watched some people "blow glass", and trust me the "blow" jokes did not get old.

One night we went ice skating at an outdoor rink. Why is it still so funny when someone falls down? It was really hard not to laugh at the little kids even when they were crying. Good times.
Suzanne---send me the freakin' pictures already!

Family Game Night. HA! Ok, let's see how I can recap this night of ridiculousness. We played "Scene It: TV edition". First of all, all the TV clips were all from TV shows from before I was born. My mom knew every single question because TV is her best friend. But she couldn't tell the difference between a bulldog and a boxer. Becca and I got bored pretty much as soon as we started playing and just shouted out absurd answers the entire time as a way to entertain ourselves. She actually got one question right when she yelled out "Battlestar Galactica!!" as a joke. I won the game, but I have no idea how I did this.

I can't decide on my favorite moment of the Christmas Eve Service. It's either when someone pulled the fire alarm or my dad's slide show of the Nativity Story for the children's sermon. If you haven't met my dad, you might not appreciate this as much. The slide show starts out with up-to-date photographs of present-day Bethlehem with beautiful landscapes and shepherds and ended with a blurry picture of Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus made of plastic that looked vaguely like something I had when I was about 4 years old. Freakin' hilarious. If I can get a copy of that slide show, I will definitely post it.

Movie Reviews:
Blood Diamond-- Great movie!! I really really liked this movie and I never want to own a diamond EVER!
Eragon-- cute kid movie
Happy Feet---oh wait, I didn't get to see that! Thanks, Reba. It's all your fault.


I hope everyone had a great Christmas with their family! I got some really rad gifts that I am so excited about! I really don't have any resolutions yet or anything. But if you check out Reba's blog, she's got some really great ones that I'll probably just copy.

The Cure for AIDS

Working with the future of America does have its perks sometimes. I had a student in class today stand up and announce(completely in the middle of class) that he had discovered the cure for AIDS. Super. Not only had he written down his theory, but he also had diagrams to go along with the theory. His theory goes like this: "Take AIDS blood and mix it with non-AIDS blood. Then separate the AIDS cells out of it. That is the cure. " Let me tell you I wish I could scan his paper and post it on here because it's just about the funniest thing of my life. Please someone alert the media to confirm that we did , indeed, discover the cure for AIDS in 4th grade today.